The Lounge

I don't know if it's because I'm older or because I've broadened my group acquaintances, but I am frequently running into men who do not behave appropriately.

Perhaps I'm just getting crotchety in my old age.

I keep having to block men attempting to kiss me that I've just met. Younger men tend to just go for it until they run into my forearm across their throat. I get old guys who don't know me trying to plant kisses on my cheek and I know there's no cultural custom since they're American.  Married men trying to see if I might be interested in being their extra on the side.  WTF!

For me it's typically the opposite gender who are problematic.

My general rule of thumb is to accept it as a compliment and just laugh as if they're making the funniest joke and couldn't possibly be serious.

What are you techniques for deflecting unwanted attention?

I'd love to know the answer, I get married men slipping me notes asking if I would be interested in N.S.A.S I'm like WTF!

I usually don't warrent it with a reply.

I am thinking that because I am not married and in my early forties they reckon I must be desperate!

Dream on!

It's gotten to be so bad that I no longer kiss on the first date!  I figure that's one easy way of separating those who are somewhat serious from the players.

Then, of course, there are always those so very charming dates where you find out that your date is actually married, but his wife doesn't understand him...WTF!!!!

Awe yeah I hear you on that! 

"No I'm sure she won't understand why you are trying to cheat on her"!

is what I say to that.

A lot of them are dancers and since I have fun dancing I will continue, but this weekend alone I had to move two hands that were drifting too far towards my butt, block a kiss while dancing.  Then off the dance floor block continuous advances from someone who had gotten drunk, turn down three invitations to spend the night (3 different guys).  Then I ended up getting kissed on the cheek by two different men who should not have made the attempt. Being popular is one thing, but this is downright obnoxious.  I need to make a t-shirt...do not attmpt to man handle!

ha ha ha that's good! I'll buy a copy of that t-shirt!

Original Post by andie-joe:

I'd love to know the answer, I get married men slipping me notes asking if I would be interested in N.S.A.S I'm like WTF!

I usually don't warrent it with a reply.

I am thinking that because I am not married and in my early forties they reckon I must be desperate!

Dream on!

Haha, I guess I'm not very hip.  What is N.S.A.S?

Original Post by bobs9895:

Haha, I guess I'm not very hip.  What is N.S.A.S?

No Strings Attached Sex.

haha... wel, I think I know what I've been doing wrong.

I had a button once that said

Don't touch me I don't know were you've been.

Usually I just give them the ole "whoa, where do you think you're going with those lips....I like to leap dramatically out of the way of an errant kiss happy married dudes making them a spectacle.

I am always offended when the married men proposition me outright and I calmly blister them were they stand without any remorse or hysterics.

But then I am not at a dance party, more a raucous roadhouse, and those that hit on me need to be grabbed by the scruff of their necks, either harshly scolded or comically refused, then booted out of the way or they get the idea it's ok and proceed to step two, the coveted drunken grope rodeo. 

I was just talking to Alex about this not even five minutes ago.  I've been having some weird interactions with people at work and it makes me feel gross.  He said  they're flirting with me and I need to make it known I don't like it, especially when they start touching things.

Alex's suggestion?  Stop being so hot.  My suggestion?  Fists.

Usually I can just give them the "Wtf do you think you're doing?" look, and they'll back off.

Of course, there are still those who can't take a hint to save their lives. Dance clubs are the worse! Guys just jump up behind you and literally hump you or try to feel you up. I've been pinned against a wall at a night club once. I'll try and push them off of me, but sometimes it's impossible. In that case, I usually look for a guy friend to save me.

Original Post by cellulitedelight

Alex's suggestion?  Stop being so hot.  My suggestion?  Fists.

Both of these suggestions make me laugh.

The second one makes me want to brush up on kick boxing though :D

I respond in turn.

You know....I don't really get hit on much anymore.  I think in real life I come off as boring.  Dunno.  But I do like the idea of jumping away and making a scene so as to let them know that it's not ok to make advances.  I think that's what I'd try to do if the situation ever occured.

Taser.

Taser...oh yes that'd work.

Yea... at least they could buy you dinner first! Thats how its sposed to work!

I think your response of laughing hysterically is a great one. It covers so many bases :)

Although I don't think I'd want your problem (I can't imagine having to be on the defense all the time!) where I am currently living is night and day compared to previously living in DC. Guys just DO NOT hit on women here. Ever. My 5 girlfriends and I go out and I can honestly say all of them are gorgeous, and we don't even get a second glance. The guys are just very laid back I guess. It does start to make one wonder if they are getting old and unattractive though...(at 25...)

I would tell them "to get me out of their dreams and to get back into their damn car." LMAO.

Mace.

I really don't have an answer and I was wondering the same thing as you! Most times I show NO INTEREST in the person and they still think I want them. NO, ok? NO I DO NOT WANT YOU.

The attention is cool but most times I want people to back off. You could always just put your hand in their face and say "Hmm, nuh-uh. Don't touch."

Good luck!