Weight Loss

Hey everyone!  It's been forever since I've posted something.  I was overweight as a child and now, 25 years old, finally lost all the weight- almost 40 pounds with calorie count by my side.  I'm now a size 6 and working out all the time.  You can call me a fitness buff.

But, I live in New York with my husband and my mother lives in Ohio.  I've been very worried about her lifesytle.  She is a singal mother with a boyfriend by her side raising my half sister who is now 12.  The entire family is very heavy.  My mother, 49, is very heavy for her height.  However, throughout her life she's been on diet after diet.  She took diet pills and ate just lettuce or a diet of eggs and salad.  Basically, she always went on the fad diets that never stuck because they just don't work.  She was shocked when I moved away, I lost all that weight by myself.  I did it without a gym membership.  In fact, I never stood in a gym at all. It was all with a diet of everything I used to eat, just modified to 1,200 to 1,500 calories a day and a workout plan at home with my exericise on demand and made up work outs of walking outside or aerobics indoors in my apartment. And yes, I did eat pizza and hamburgers...just not all the time and not 3 pieces- just 1 slice and a huge salad with a healthy dressing or a huge piece of fruit.

She always talks about losing weight.  However, every time I see her, she gained more weight than last time.  She works a swing-shift.  And anyone who knows that lifestyle, it sucks.  Basically she works 1 week 7am-3pm..the next week 3pm-11pm...and the last week 11pm-7am...so she never is on a sleep schedule and she's just tired all the time and eats at all random hours of the day.  So she usually stops at all fast food places and just lives off of that.

So the problem with her is...she just told me she took off 3 weeks of work because she is having severe chest pains.  The day she finally told me this (I think she was afraid to because she knew I would be so concerned and tell her she needs to change her lifestyle)- she said she stopped at McDonald's for dinner because she was too tired and sick to cook.  My half-sister is in the same routine and pretty much refuses to eat anything else.  My half-sister weighs as much as I do and I'm twice her age and then some.

This last time on the phone she said her chest is hurting all the time and she's going to the cardiologist soon.  I told her one of my 2nd cousins on my dad's side of the family just passed away- 52 years old of heart failure...she was obese and the doctor kept telling her her weight will kill her soon.  My mom is 3 years away from that number... she laughs it off and said "I know...I know"...I kept pressing telling her that if she leaves this world what she is leaving behind...

I want to inspire her. I want her to want to lose weight for herself and not just for 1 week.. I know it's hard.  I was there....but I did it.  I feel guilty sometimes because I can't be there to keep pushing her to lose the weight.  I feel she needs me (the family needs me) to push them.  I'm just lost...I don't know what else to do. I don't want to lose my mother before she's 50 years old...any advice????  I know her boyfriend is getting her a gym membership for christmas- which is keep telling her is not needed- but she's had them before and goes for a month and then quits.  I want to get her maybe the Leslie Sansone video that inspired me to do an at home program and talks about heart health.  I also wanted to write her a real letter telling her why I keep pressing her to lose weight from the heart to hopefully inspire her to do so. Any other ideas?  I don't have a lot of money to work with- but I'm willing to spend probably $50.00 or less. Thank you for taking time out to read all this and respond! It means a lot to me!

I'm so sorry, this sounds like an awful situation. It's touching how much you care about your mom. Ultimately, she's gonna need to want to do this for herself, not for anyone else, but a gentle push to get her to try it seems like a good idea.

I just started with Leslie Sansone and I really like her. Maybe buy her one of the starter videos? I was basically sedentary before, and I have a disability, and I find them fun and a good workout! so I know your mom can do it! I agree a push to the gym right away will just be intimidating.

Thank you for your reply.  I hope this DVD will inspire and not just collect dust. Any more ideas would be helpful!?! Thanks =)

Hey there... I've been there... my mom was extremely overweight and I was quite worried about her.... actually, I think that two things helped motivate her to start losing.

First, she watched me set my mind to reach a goal (run a half marathon) and she realized that she also responded well to a challenge... she found that having someone to talk it over with helped (we talk workout strategies all the time- we are at completely different levels, but she likes bouncing ideas off of me).

Second, she had to have hip replacement at 54 years old. The doctor didn't say it, but it was clear that her weight had added to the necessity of having all this medical work done... sometimes a medical scare is needed to get them motivated. Since your mom just had one, I would absolutely recommend talking to her about how scared you are for her... any parent who hears this from their child will at least give a second thought... trust me!

Finally, if you are looking for a little motivation... I HIGHLY recommend the following blog... http://www.pastaqueen.com/halfofme/ She lost over 190 pounds and blogged about her experience then entire way... go back in the archives and start at the beginning. Jennette Fulda is amazing. She also wrote a book called: Half-Assed: A Weight Loss Memoir. Jennette is super funny, super sarcastic, and the book is a reall great read! Every female in my family has read this book!

Good Luck with your mom, I know how scared you are... just stay positive and supportive with her...

First off, congrats on your success!!

they say that it takes three weeks to achieve a new habit.  Maybe try to get your mom to commit 3 weeks to eating healthy and doing some activity.  Eating right is the main thing.  Can she join CC?  When I feel like eating (even though I am not hungry) I come here and read stories like yours, it helps to keep me focused.   If you can convince her that she doesn't need to starve herself to lose weight, that she can eat plenty of food (probably more then she eats now, but less calories) maybe she will be on board with it.  She also needs to get enough rest.  Whatever changes need to be made to accomplish that...

I lost my dad at 51 due to heart failure.  Looking back, I wish I had pushed him into a healthier lifestyle, It may not have worked, but maybe, just maybe, it would have.

best of luck to you and your mom

Congrats to you for making it to your goal! I can't wait to say the same. :)

I agree with tronjo, maybe turning her on to CC would be helpful.  This site has literally changed the way I perceive dieting or as I now know it, a lifestyle change.  The tools, motivation, and success stories on the forums are awesome.  Maybe recommend this site, emphasize that it's FREE (yeah! love that!) and ask her, if nothing else, if she will simply log her calorie intake for 3 weeks. I know that really has opened my eyes.

I haven't heard of Leslie Sansone but it sounds like that might be a good option, or the Half-Assed book.  Then maybe also get her a little something that's not weight-related so she doesn't get overwhelmed, would be my suggestion. :)

Good luck!!!

Is there someone who could do a workout video with her at first? Her boyfriend maybe? They could push each other to finish it.

And I agree with whoever said that she could end up eating more food than before, just healthier foods. When I first started I had trouble reaching up to my calorie target because I got full of low-calorie food. So stress that she certainly won't be starving.